Posted in Relationships, SocialMedia

“Social” Media ~ A Review of the #USGUYS TwinCities TweetUp

Get out your reading glasses, a box of tissues and prepare to ponder!

A little background first:  I’ve been tweeting with #usguys folks since the group formed.  Many have come and gone, but there are some regulars.  I have found “family” … a sense of “coming home” in my online connection with those who are regular participants of the nightly #Nightshift Checkin.  This process is usually led by @StephenCaggiano around 10pm nightly.  Between Libby Baker Sweiger ( @libbytalks ) and @ImMarkBernhardt, a Tweetup was planned in the Twin Cities for April 20th.  I had just finished reading @GabeBerman‘s book “Live Like a Fruit Fly” {click on the title and read my book review}  His perspectives and reminders about the preciousness of life sent me on a journey of self-examination.  Questions like am I happy?  Am I really doing what I want to be doing?  How appreciative am I of the things I have?  Do I show well to others gratitude for their participation in the liturgy (dance routine) of my existence?

My mind was made up!  I was going to drive the six hours North to meet IRL <– In Real Life, these wonderful people who Indications of Economic Improvementtweeted with persistence during our last storm that brought four dozen tornadoes through Nebraska.  They weren’t going to go to bed until they knew me and my family were “out of the woods!”  Where do you find friends like this who are not related to you?  I didn’t until #usguys.

So anyway, I scheduled a day off from work just to attend, booked a room, and made arrangements for care of our parrot (named DJ), and our adorable cat Clara!  We packed up and headed to Minneapolis / St Paul!  I was overwhelmed with the amount of trucker traffic!  If 18-wheeler activity is any indication of economic health, then good ole U.S. of A. has nothing to worry about!  The other noticeable thing about Iowa that impressed me while driving through was their message about being a leader in clean renewable energy!  We passed at least two huge wind farms on the East side of the highway on our way up North.  Our journey was without stress or vehicle troubles and we arrived at our Country Inn and Suites lodging in Woodbury, Minnesota a half hour before we were due to meet at Lakes Tavern and Grill!

Upon arriving at the Tavern with my wife and three children, we were shown to the area where the rest of #usguys were waiting to be seated.  Right away I recognized Libby, she looks exactly like her picture and her personality translates well in real life.  Stephen Caggiano was the same–genuine, sincere in an unassuming way.  Mark Bernhardt took me a little while to connect the dots because in his previous Twitter pic sported a cowboy hat!  Mimi Baker ( @MimiBakerMN ) was recognizable and her wittiness on Twitter translates into real life as well–great gal!  Sumner Musolf ( @SumnerMusolf ) took me a while to resolve because his Twitter pic didn’t show facial hair–the man has a beard! @MaryJTraviski was there long enough for introductions and had to leave–but I’m sure I’ll get to know her better on Twitter.

So, here’s what everyone looked like, sorry for the lighting in the group picture.  An elderly guy watching all these adults sitting around a table with other people, but their eyes focused on the phones in there hands offered help take a group photo when we began taking pictures of each other.  My son, Josh and his comic drawings were a hit with the crowd–everyone was gracious and Josh felt proud to receive accolades from people outside of the family.

So, keep in mind, I had just come off a two day affair…meeting with the whole group the night of the 20th at the Tavern.  The next day, my family and I met Mark Bernhardt at the Mall of America (which is an incredible, but noisy place) for lunch, and that evening we met Stephen Caggiano and Libby Baker Sweiger at Perkins Restaurant for dinner.

My faith in the goodness of mankind, was reaffirmed by the fact that the real life experience with these #usguys was just as rich as what I have experienced online.  Stephen is well connected in his social network, but extremely generous with his connections, experiences and advice.  Libby is sweet and a very deep feeling individual–a good listener (even though her Twitter handle is @libbytalks!)  Mimi Baker, a single mother of two boys, is bubbly and spontaneous!  Mark Bernhardt and Sumner were somehow familiar, very comfortable to be around….it really felt like a 20 year high school reunion.

Now, here’s the part where you may need a tissue! 

Earlier this week a dear friend in the #usguys family underwent surgery for cancer.  As you can imagine, the twitter stream was turbulent with tweets of concern, prayers, thoughts, and words of encouragement.  I find myself frequently throughout the day thinking about those who I regularly tweet with–ALL of them!

So two days ago, I was standing at the kitchen sink washing, listening to music on the radio and my mind drifted to — #usguys.  I became aware of the level of emotional energy I feel pouring through me when I tweet encouraging words to others, cheer colleagues and friends in their professional pursuits, inquire to others about how their day is going, etc!

That’s when it hit me, the realization that I don’t feel the same level of energy in my day-to-day relationships!  My biological family that I was born into, the family that my wife and I created, my friends, my colleagues….they are “here”….just like the pictures that hang on your walls, the nick nacks, the stacks of magazines you walk past everyday but no longer notice (value) because they’ve become part of the fabric or skin of your life.  We don’t pay attention to the fact we have skin until it dries out, itches, cracks, gets cut or banged!  Our minds are always searching for something new and exciting…it stops “seeing” what we already have (the known factor) that has become part of the periphery.  Perhaps that is what is so rewarding about social media…just like the words in a well written book, it carries you away from your three-dimensional existence that requires effort, time, energy beyond your own skin?  Whether it be a “New Interaction” on Twitter, or a new status update from someone on Facebook…these tools always keep something new & fresh in front of our eyes!

So, feeling NOT okay with these realizations, I decided to make a concerted effort to reexamine those in the here and now with the same curiosity, interest, value, and preciousness that I do with “new and effortless” connections with those in social media.  Perhaps its narcissism that makes social media relationships “easier?”  We find communications/communities of interest that echo our own passions, personality types and discover a mirror that affirms the “who & what” we think of ourselves.

I don’t like to think of myself as someone who takes others for granted or makes assumptions about others!  But if I look at my own behavior, I have to say I’m guilty, just as probably many of you are for how we manage relationships.  I’ve said for years that love is a verb…so determined to practice what I preach, I stopped at the grocery store on my way home last night from class to buy my wife a bouquet of flowers and a card to express my gratitude.  I am purposely choosing to look for the “new & exciting” in the “everyday” routines of life.   New and exciting is there ~ every day — dust doesn’t collect on things that get used (paid attention to) frequently–but it requires a conscious effort on our part to “see [to actively look]” it!

Sorry for the long post, but these thoughts cannot be confined to the “standard 300-500 word entry”  To all reading this post, if this message resonates with you, I’d be curious to hear your thoughts.

Peace out!



Eternal Optimist, Writer, Music Lover, Avid Gardener, Science & Tech Admirer, Cook, Baker and Social Networking Encourager

7 thoughts on ““Social” Media ~ A Review of the #USGUYS TwinCities TweetUp

  1. Ed, thank you for a MOST touching and thought provoking post! And for warning us to bring a tissue! The TwinCities #UsGuys Meetup and entire weekend was something to be treasured forever — what a wonderful group! What synergy! Social media does bring about incredible closeness at times, and highs really. But you hit a core point…treasuring our closest relationships and giving them our energy is vital and must never be neglected. Thank you for this, Ed. I personally think your life is an example of someone who does this. You have an amazing family who loves and respects you. For that you must give lots of time and love, energy, humor and passion. I felt privileged to meet you all and hope to see you again soon. Love and hugs! Libby

    1. Thanks for your comments Libby! It was such a pleasure meeting you and the #usguys gang! Thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to join you all! Keep writing and plugging away at your consulting business. I will send you the information I promised this weekend!. Cheers and hugs to you!

  2. Ed,

    Reconstructing the comment which my phone ate…

    You have put to words some relevant points many of us need to consider.
    It is critical we understand our priorities and make choices which are representative of our priorities.

    I have been examing the current relationships (non-SoMe) and those which are developed using2012 new media. The process of both is the same: people want to be validated, and for that to occur we need active engagement. Whether in personal relationships or in my business (and non-profit counts for business), I need to Engage & Validate.

    It is important to clearly understand and articulate my priorities.

    I am coaching the junior high track team. One of my goals is to have my student/athletes exit the program better citizens than when they entered. We focus on the priorities of God-Family-School-Sports. This week I had one student choose to not participate in a meet because he was behind on a large science project. Last Friday another student needed to miss practice because he had family coming to town to celebrate his birthday. Good choices.

    Intentional engagement and validation allows me to build strong relationships.

    When I participate in in Twitter Chats (engage) I gain new followers. When I dialog with folks (such as the #UsGuys) we build a relationship (we both receive validation).The same is true in current relationships.

    The pastor at our church will be retiring in two years, and I am leading the transition process, which became formally active last fall. As a part of the process we are examining all ministries. One of the key points is to actively engage people. This is often combining personal contact and the use of new media. If we choose to grow the ministries we need to continue to engage and validate.

    It is my understanding we can effectively manage 150 relationships – current and new media. This means we need a balance between family, friends, work associates, and new media friends.

    You have taken the steps to intentionally examine your priorities and evaluate if your choices are representative. If you determine your actions are not in-line with your priorities, change is not only a recommendation but a requirement. I am proud you chose to stop and purchase flowers for your wife. Good choice.

    Thank you for putting time into this post. Your thought, comment, and choices will positively impact many folks.

    1. Wow Scott! Sounds like you lead a very important life in the role of mentor to many! What a great example you are setting for impressionable young people about responsibility/accountability! I appreciate our connection and your obvious choice as an adult to be a student of life! Thanks for your comments and sharing your thoughts!

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